Sometimes, even I wonder if I gripe too much. But once again, recent events demonstrate the need to shout ever louder. I have been following, with mounting horror, the news about states that aim to “streamline” the process of relinquishing and adopting a child. There is Indiana, poised to pass a bill that, in the interest of “streamlining” abandonment and adoption of newborn infants, would omit any oversight and regulatory safeguards to prevent anonymous trafficking of those infants through the state’s so-called “newborn safety devices,” commonly known as “baby boxes.” Gregory Luce of Adoptee Rights Law clarifies the implications
"We do not ameliorate the injustice of banning abortion by “streamlining” relinquishment and adoption. We compound that injustice. Both for those who seek abortions, and for their offspring."
Bedrock requirements for any adoption should include accessible (to the adopted person) identification of biological parents, independent and competent counseling for the biological parents, and a good-faith search for a kinship placement. Baby boxes side-step all of these. And at least in the case of the Indiana legislation, it seems also to skip even basic vetting of adoptive families, let alone the level of parent education that is necessary to support an inevitably traumatized child. "Out of sight, out of mind" for babies and their parents is an unconscionable response to forced birth.
I think also if the extended family connections we lose when trafficked into adoption and how making “anonymous baby drops” more widespread contributes to this.
When my maternal grandmother died I found, in her closet, a box of dozens of letters from the 1990s written to me & my siblings. All returned in a larger envelope from the state with a form letter... “dear Mrs. xxxx you have no legal right to contact your grandchildren. We are returning your letter to you.”
Fessler notes “I’ve experienced both and I’d have an abortion any day of the week before I would ever have another adoption—or lose a kid in the woods, which is basically what it is. You know your child is out there somewhere, you just don’t know where. It’s bad enough as a mother to know he might need you, but to complicate that they make a law that says even if he does need you we’re not going to tell him where you are.”
I think about these baby boxes and what everyone loses. A grandparent, and aunt, a cousin who would’ve intervened if only they’d had the legal right. Everyone is left in limbo and grieving the living.
There are no anonymous unwanted babies. Only babies whose identities have been obstructed from view.
"We do not ameliorate the injustice of banning abortion by “streamlining” relinquishment and adoption. We compound that injustice. Both for those who seek abortions, and for their offspring."
Thank you, Tony.
Bedrock requirements for any adoption should include accessible (to the adopted person) identification of biological parents, independent and competent counseling for the biological parents, and a good-faith search for a kinship placement. Baby boxes side-step all of these. And at least in the case of the Indiana legislation, it seems also to skip even basic vetting of adoptive families, let alone the level of parent education that is necessary to support an inevitably traumatized child. "Out of sight, out of mind" for babies and their parents is an unconscionable response to forced birth.
Thank you for this Tony.
I think also if the extended family connections we lose when trafficked into adoption and how making “anonymous baby drops” more widespread contributes to this.
When my maternal grandmother died I found, in her closet, a box of dozens of letters from the 1990s written to me & my siblings. All returned in a larger envelope from the state with a form letter... “dear Mrs. xxxx you have no legal right to contact your grandchildren. We are returning your letter to you.”
Fessler notes “I’ve experienced both and I’d have an abortion any day of the week before I would ever have another adoption—or lose a kid in the woods, which is basically what it is. You know your child is out there somewhere, you just don’t know where. It’s bad enough as a mother to know he might need you, but to complicate that they make a law that says even if he does need you we’re not going to tell him where you are.”
I think about these baby boxes and what everyone loses. A grandparent, and aunt, a cousin who would’ve intervened if only they’d had the legal right. Everyone is left in limbo and grieving the living.
There are no anonymous unwanted babies. Only babies whose identities have been obstructed from view.
Gut wrenching piece, Tony. Thank you.