Greg, accompanied with his husband had a reunion with his birth mother in 2017. I don't cis het people understand why we gay/queer adoptees don't search. It's about rejection. Not only do we have a loss of identity but then we get the message that our sexuality is wrong by our parents and society. It's why I kept quiet about it even now in the adoptee community many of us aren't supported. I am glad he found both parents and his family.
Thanks for pointing this out. I hope I didn’t imply any judgment about the pace of his search and reunion, because I am at pains to emphasize that I believe there is no “right” pace, no “right” decision whether to search or reunite.
No, not at all. What I attempted to say carrying the burden and shame of being gay instilled by by our parents and society. It adds to the erasure and prevents many of us from search. I am glad that he found and had a reunion with his birthparents.
I wasn't aware Louganis was adopted until adulthood and I don't remember knowing of famous adoptees, outside of Christina Crawford because I read her memoir about Joan Crawford, but your account reminds me how much I hated most of the child stars of my era. I deeply resented how they got paid and famous for playacting being the children of people who were not their parents whereas it was a 24/7 unpaid, miserable job for me.
And that carried forth into how I perceived all relationships as transactional and requiring me to perform to keep anyone around me. De-fogging has been a process of learning to appreciate people for who they are and myself as a person of inherent value. (Also being a child star apparently sucks in most cases, I have learned.)
Greg, accompanied with his husband had a reunion with his birth mother in 2017. I don't cis het people understand why we gay/queer adoptees don't search. It's about rejection. Not only do we have a loss of identity but then we get the message that our sexuality is wrong by our parents and society. It's why I kept quiet about it even now in the adoptee community many of us aren't supported. I am glad he found both parents and his family.
Thanks for pointing this out. I hope I didn’t imply any judgment about the pace of his search and reunion, because I am at pains to emphasize that I believe there is no “right” pace, no “right” decision whether to search or reunite.
No, not at all. What I attempted to say carrying the burden and shame of being gay instilled by by our parents and society. It adds to the erasure and prevents many of us from search. I am glad that he found and had a reunion with his birthparents.
Tony, this was beautifully written. It greatly impacted me.
Thank you so much, Louise. ❤️
I wasn't aware Louganis was adopted until adulthood and I don't remember knowing of famous adoptees, outside of Christina Crawford because I read her memoir about Joan Crawford, but your account reminds me how much I hated most of the child stars of my era. I deeply resented how they got paid and famous for playacting being the children of people who were not their parents whereas it was a 24/7 unpaid, miserable job for me.
And that carried forth into how I perceived all relationships as transactional and requiring me to perform to keep anyone around me. De-fogging has been a process of learning to appreciate people for who they are and myself as a person of inherent value. (Also being a child star apparently sucks in most cases, I have learned.)
Thank you for sharing this, Tony. What a powerful photo that last one is of GL claiming his original identity back!